My darkness

There is isolation of utter disgust
Cramping all the way into the mainstream
The stream of protruding fluids
Scaling through the veins to burst out
To speak on behalf of the tormorised soul
To reason for the justice i hav been craving
Long enuf to break down
Long enuf to die
But for vain....?
Or for long lost love and solace
The unseen mirage echoed
But fadded in moments
To the Vassal of emptiness
Lurked for nothing in me
Or for everything so wrong in me
The road turned with every step
Every step to toil for tolerance
But its already the brink
Brink of submission to the veil of pain
Dancing in front of me
Still no courage to see through the veil
To see my destiny
‌To see myself

My path

The dark doors banged themselves
The devil so alluring and abiding
The path it laid
The option it offered
Called my soul aloud
Startled I stood at the embankment
Judging the possibilities to reach far
Lost in the self to materialise
The chance to be over powered
Struck me right down
The forest of hope was far behind
To run that far
To crawl down to reach the summit
Summit of truth and righteousness
What was that
What will define my path
Made me make a right step
The devil clutched me with love
The struggle made me free
And I ran for the summit
Will reach and will make all the difference
Not someday
But at this moment
To define my path
To define me.

Our society

With bricks and concrete its stands strong
With law and belief it cant go wrong
Still it went south from the pinnacle
Crippled to the core
With corruption and fallacies
It went deep into us through efficacy
Humans got numbered in the name of sophistication
Souls got deprived in the name of institution
The robust society we stand for
The fallacy we crave for
The mind we lost for
All for a shallow pit
A pit of degenerates
A pit of broken dreams
A pit of burnt wishes
With bricks and concrete it stands strong
On the verge to collapse
Over the congregation
Of a hollow and deteriorated society

Climb of her life

Getting up early was never her thing. To wake up early without a reason.... duh why..? She needed a reason, rather a good convincing reason. Unfortunately neither her mom nor her dad had one. So she and her pillow would cuddle till 11. But today she had one. The birds were on the verge to break the record of Adelle. The wind, she thought, was captured by Captain Cold from The Flash comics. All night she dreamt of being chased by a yeti. They do live Himalayas too, according to her. Then she had an awesome romantic dinner with the yeti on the top of Mount Everest. But the yeti forgot to bring flowers for her. She shouted at the yeti because what a date is without flowers. That was her belief. In the dream she asked the yeti- why you chased me so frantically? The yeti smiled and said because you have read that we exist and we chase people in snow laden mountains. Then she burst out in laughter then the yeti summoned her not to, because if her voice’s frequency got high, there could be an AVALANCHE........

This what she asked for when Avinash, jokingly asked – “is there anything that you want to before we get married?” Well she could not guess his tone and she was not joking when she said that she wants to climb Mount Everest.

Mount Everest..!!!! what was i thinking..? But who cares? She always wanted to do something crazy. She did a lot of madness in her dreams like once she chased Osama bin Laden on the streets of Bhubaneswar and killed him over a head shot. She was chasing him because Taliban banned all Harry potter books. Once she invited the President of Italy to her home for dinner. And all she made for him – Dalma and gave him the biography of Vivekananda, because she wanted him to learn how to live a life without sex. Apart from all these things she never wore jeans. She never had any guy friends. Her family was rich, filthy rich like, when she started to ride a bicycle her dad bought her a BMW. When she said him she loves pizza- they went to Italy for a family vacation. But there were other stuffs too- she never went to see a film with her buddies. Though she had only two- her cousins. Her father appointed two men who will go everywhere with her. On some regular college day when was just coming out of her class, a boy gave her a yellow rose. That night she went to the hospital with horlicks and tulips to see how many bones were intact in him. In short she was a princess but spoilt in a weird way. The only thing that she brought for herself were books. And she had her own library. Form bed of roses to the thorns of ice, it was impossible. But Avinash loved her more than anything. He convinced his future father in law. And he was damn convincing.  

She woke up and went out of the tent, it was beautiful. As if the snow has covered all the buildings of Bhubaneswar. It was freezing out but she was excited like crazy, for her first real life adventure. For the first time in her life she made friends during the training period. She was amazed to know people being funny and serious at the same instance. All her life till now, Nicolas Sparks taught her what romance is, JK Rowling taught her what fantasy is., Jeffrey Archer taught her what drama is, but witnessing people other than her family and servants was fun for her. she still remembers for the first time she held Avinash’s hand. God! As if thousands of dragons were growling fire in her body, small dragons the cute ones only.

Life is so exciting and wonderful, she never thought a joke and a crazy idea can change so much. Well she knows right now life is all about craziness. She knows this trip is a tour to the arms of death. But she is all ready to experience that even. All her life someone else has made decisions for her. Except books, her father and mother have chosen everything for her. This trip will teach her about life. She wanted to learn all before starting a new life with Avinash. Till now she has learned a lot from the training. But the real task of life starts today.

She got all geared up for the climbing. It has been 4 months without her family and servants, without her small world. This may be a one way trip but she will never regret it. What she learnt from everything has made her a different person now. And she also knows, when she will be back home, the only thing that she will have of her previous life will be her body, nothing else.

“ okay comrades, this it. We are going to live your dreams. And I swear you will not go empty handed. Few will have an experience, few will have a life to talk about. All geared up...?” shouted the leader. “Yes sir” all in a chorus shouted. Avanti looked back, ran to her tent took her phone and messaged Avinash- THANKS FR EVERYTHING. I LOVE YOU. AND I WILL BE BACK SOON.

This was the first time she said her the magical words. Then she left for the climb of her life.  

On Her Behalf

The droplets had no intention to soothe his agony. His tears were no match to the outburst of the sky. He kneeled down to ask his salvation but the continuously rejected every wish. Carrying the fate to rule had no weightage. Every second he failed her, every moment he missed, were asking- "what is the point now?" That glasses he broke were crystal but the heart he shattered had no comparison. Everytime a promise he broke, a crack his fate accumulated. But.... Does any of his but mattered now? The flowers he brought now to her grave were fragrance less. The grave stone embarked - Loving wife and daughter. He couldn't even made her a mother. Each stroke of thunder sliced his soul with the question - Why you made her suffer so much? He was struggling to argue with all possible excuses and that underlined his character in details. For two years in search of money and fame he lost love, every single thing that made her love him. His destiny.... He will laugh out if this thought would have crossed his mind. The time he could have given her, the smile that he could have brought her. He stood up and the sky roared like a wounded tiger. He failed her. That night when they got married and they were in the bedroom, he had just her. No money no fame, but he had everything..... Her love. Every time she smiled and got naughty he thanked God for this wonderful girl. But like a project accomplished, suddenly he went to his dream. But forgot about his life defining love. All the time he wasted for money and fame made him stand right now where he is now. In no dimension he could ever forgive himself. The sun forgot to warm him like he forgot her in pursuit of his hollow dream. But he wanted to be famous, to be rich, but never thought he will lose her. He know even now also she would have smiled at him. Not a single moment she asked why. The dinners she had alone, the anniversaries she spent under the moon light, the nights she slept in solitary made her love him no less. He never uttered a sorry and she never demanded one. He gave her diamonds that she never wore with him. The cemetery was deserted like his life right now. As if every dead body got crossed with him. Finally one night she shouted out her leftover life that he was presenting her. And he reciprocated the he never had. It was her birthday and he had promised a dinner that night. But again his schedule changed which he didn't alter. His wife was crying when he reached the house., that was not a home. He had already lost it. When she brought up everything that was falling apart all he could utter was for whom I am doing all these, you all luxury and everything, blah blah.... She shouted at him and asked him to leave her home. And without a thought, as if devil rode his soul to hell, he stormed out. He went out in his car. He had never seen her in that state. And made him think for the first time in two years. That night he decided to make things right. Next day he bought a beautiful gown for her and wrote a letter for asking another chance. And sent it to her inviting to the best hotel in the city. He booked the whole hotel and decorated with everything she loved. He knew she will come. He knew his love. He wanted his home back. He was standing on the door waiting for her. She arrived in a cab. She was looking like an angle in love. That moment they were on opposite side of the road. They looked at each other. Everything was just falling into space that they dreamed. She wore the best smile a girl can hav ever. She walked down the road towards her life. Her life..... The man she fell for, the best guy in world for her. She was so happy n engulfed in her thought. Then everything altered. Every single piece that they were placing on the maze broke to atoms. He was just witnessing it. He lost the power to speak and think. The devil even left him to witness the tragedy of God. The car that hit her was in air. He ran... He only wished he could have ran long back. She was there on the road. The road of his devastation. He took her in his arms and silently begged with every single emotion he had. But she was gone. He was drenched in blood. The blood that he painted on himself...this is what he thought. An ambulance came and for what? He already got cremated. He cried in the graveyard. He had lost the option for penance. But he lived a life afterward that he chooses for her and then God reciprocated that life on her behalf. But he lived

His Birthday

His Birthday

Focus. Run. Lead.

His father always underlined these huge and blood thumping words.

While in sleep he used to encounter a unicorn. The unicorn never ran. It used to walk slowly, as if it had no hurry. He just wanted to see whether rainbow comes out of its tail when it starts to run. But it never ran.

There was another man, quite old, with white beard and no hair. He always had a pipe and the way smoked it, it was peculiar. As if all his life he practised to smoke and he achieved it very well. But he never focused on the unicorn. He had eyes on the sky, searching something. The place in his dream was grassland, medium grasses all over. He didn’t know the word meadow back then may that is why he couldn’t figure out the geographical location. But every night in his dream he goes to the old man to ask what he is doing, but then everything starts to shake as if it’s an earthquake.

 It was his father waking him up in morning for practice.

And the dream where he had quires and may be answers too but never reached its brim. Then he would wake up and go for his practise. He never wanted to be an athlete. But his father always was adamant as mountain to see him in Olympics. He was good but not the best. He worked hard and followed his father’s order- Focus Run lead. In his school period he always came second or third and his father was unhappy. He had the best gear anyone can dream. Adidas shoes Nike pants, his friends were jealous. But no one knew what he was jealous of.

The best part was dream. One day he asked the old man in his dream “Why are you looking to the sky?” The old man laughed and said “I am looking for a rainbow.” Again everything started to shake and he is up for practise. Time passed and he never came up to his father’s dream. He became a renowned director. He bagged many national and international awards. Still his father’s words keep ringing in his minds and that had led him to success. But he never understood the meaning of his dream. He stopped pondering about it and eventually forgot about it.

One day he was shooting in Tibet. He was all emerged in the work. He was inspecting the location to get what he wanted. The place was exotic. He inhaled the fresh air and closed his eyes to think. Basically he was concentrating. Then he opened his eyes, he saw a man, rather old man but he looked familiar. But he could not remember him. The old man was looking like a monk. He brought himself back to his job. At the end of the shift the crew planned to visit a Buddha temple nearby. They went to the temple and it was beautiful. Simply breathtaking and wonderful, as if the soul has come to a shrine of angels. The sky was all golden and the air had its fragrance of peach fruit. As he stepped into the temple he saw the same old man merged in his meditation. All of a sudden he recognised him. The old man was from his dreams. The moment he realised this, the monk smiled and opened his eyes. He could not believe it. He had stopped seeing that dream since a long time, his subconscious had it but all his success and his dream coming true made him more realistic and materialistic.

The films that he made always had human feeling described in details but he knew he was lacking something. His passion and his work were in same spot but the more he tried to involve himself in spirituality and in self, it was an uneven road. Whole world loved his films, they were critically acclaimed and thoughtful but he knew he is lacking something. But he never knew where to look for answers. He went and sat beside the monk. The monk said “you saw your rainbow my boy?” Again he lost himself. He collected his lost thoughts and said “no. I never pondered it much. I got what I wanted. Followed my passion and forgot about the childhood dream.”

The monk closed his eyes and said “son, look to the sky. And tell me what you see?” He looked up and described its texture and colour. The monk smiled and said “son, life shows us many things and keeps us revolving around what we want to know, but we get so involved in revolving around, we forget about the answer. So just focus and tell me again.” This time he closed his eyes. After sometime he saw it. All his life he was running. Running to define his choices. He gave everything he had to prove that he made a right choice of opting being a filmmaker, a story teller. In that long process he lost the meaning of his passion. He knew something was lacking deep inside but he was too involved in his race with himself.

 People either run to be something, to prove the world or run to prove themselves that they are independent. They saw a dream and followed it irrespective of every ordeal and achieved it. Those who do job to show the world their status are just crowd that gather. Thinking about the crowd is wasting time and power and that is why he never made commercial films and he never had a huge crowd. But in that process he lost the reason of his dream. He never got there, because unknowingly he was concentrating on the crowd. Yes a small crowd but he was.

In the dream he wanted to see a rainbow, he had heard stories of unicorn. He knew when a unicorn will run a rainbow will come out of his tail, but back then his subconscious was not mature to look at the sky. He had his own imagination. And that imagination was reflected in his dream. He never understood why the old man said he was searching for rainbow in the sky, later he thought the man knew that for rainbow one must see to the sky not to mystical and mythical animals. Now he got it all clear. To see a rainbow, to see the dream come true, to live a life that we really want is to do things for ourselves, not for anyone else. He explained this theory to the monk. The monk smiled and nodded.

Then still he had one doubt. He asked “will it not be shear selfishness?” The monk questioned him “what is enlightenment? Why every religion asks us to search for enlightenment?” He thought for a while. “Because that is a process through which we can amalgam our self to the almighty”. Suddenly the monk said “will it not be shear selfishness?” He got it all clear. The monk explained him “look at every great man. What they really are? They did justice to the self. They were selfish like anything. If a person fails to justify his soul his works then he cannot be successful. He may become a hero, a great scientist, but in his last moments he will think of this question and all his achievements will fall down in front of himself. Then what is the joy of that success? I hope you know where you lack my son.”

He got it. Now he knows what to do and how to do. He looked at the sky and saw himself painting the rainbow in it. He resolved all his questions and stood up to create a difference. He wished his father to be alive to see his son getting the meaning of his word- Run Focus Lead. Suddenly he thought how come the man he saw in his dreams back in his childhood is sitting next to him? Then suddenly he heard a loud beeping sound. He looked around felt very cold. He is getting all wet from cold water falling from the roof of the temple. All of a sudden he woke up. It was his birthday and all the time he was dreaming. His crew members threw cold water on him to wish him happy birthday. They celebrated it with a cake and tea. He could not stop thinking about what he saw.

 But it was really his birthday.                   

THE GHOST OF FROST

Running down the hill

Clutching a lot of overdue bills

Watery eyes and shaking limbs

Anxiety of uncertain future

Jack ran frantically

"please lend some chippers 

my mom is without slippers

will take her to the quack

she got bitten by the wolf that barks"

Pleaded the handsome boy

"O dear ! Good lord will help her

but will lend no money as you owe me more"

Cruel Mr. Collins took a sip from silver cup

Thinking about his pain stricken mother 

Remembered the lightning, tearing out the sky

Bishop indicated the omen will not be far

Father kicked Jack and went to marry in bar

"Make me your slave O' benevolent

Save my mother or i will die O' magnificent"

Falling to his feet he kept his heart out

Mr. Collins was going to accept the scout

Again the cloud burst with Jack's eyes

"All your freedom will suffice today

or you will suffice in few days"

Leaning on his hands with the stick

Remembering his mother who was sick

Accepted the bait as no stone left to turn

Jack burned with his fate , in front of the sun

Mr. Collins bounced a bag full coins with lot of fun

He ran, He ran, to save his life

Slipped and dashed into a tree

Broke his head, still jack ran

As tears fell from his eyes till fathom, the earth trembled

Large blocks fell and Jack still ran

With medicine from the quack he reached home

Alas to his surprise she was no more

Fell on his knees and went numb

As if someone cut his throat and tongue

His soul bore thousand lashes

Broke into pieces in a single flash

Father came and blamed Jack

"O lord please take me far away

where my mom  will beside me"

Cried his lungs out and ran

Threw the bag of coins and his soul

Ran to become the ghost of frost

To kill the wolf that barks

To surpass Mr. Collins

To take revenge

To intervene every single soul he blamed

Surprisingly the list had few names to be framed

Took a stone and picked his overthrown fate

Sharped the stone along with his fate

Jack saw the wolf that barks

Eyes got fixed and heart stopped 

Then a flash and loud hiss silenced the forest

Wolf's eye spilled blood

As if an avalanche turned to flood

the beast cried out, then went in to eternal silence

Jack ran and steps echoed in the silence

The dark side was ruling everything

His heart, his souk and predetermined mind

Sunk into the sea of revenge and anger

Entered the damn village

That didn't offered even a spoilage

Went for the Magnificent bastard

Who was bitter than the beast

Spotted him strolling in the lawn

It was swift and fast

The stone pierced into the heart

Jack roared like an wounded tiger

Scratched out him like an evil scavenger

Nothing quenched his thirst and rage

Jack ran to the bar to bid farewell

The father who scratched his soul

Then left the soul to rot in purgatory

This last farewell was mandatory.

" Burn yourself you evil beast

Burn your soul, help other fellows

Still penance will be as far as I am to my mother.

Death is the easy verdict but what you will live henceforth

will balance nothing in suffocating soul

Repent till you die 

Die as a burden 

In the last part I will bid you farewell again

will give you slow and painful death."

Father was struck

The words discerpet his soul 

Still a lot was about to come ,

Jack was not seen in the valley anymore

People joyed the death of Magnificent Bastard

Still no soul craved for Jack

To every surprise this is what we human lack

The rage left the day his father died

In a slow and painful death..................